thebootydiaries:

me age 12: oh god i missed a two millimeter spot of hair when i shaved i guess i’ll go to the beach in five layers of clothing so no one notices

me now: Hello friends it is i Bigfoot #confirmed

realenoshima:

COCK-A-DOODLE—

do you think im sexy

broral:

pissyeti:

when someone stops talking to you and youre not sure what you did wrong

lord-kitschener:

chris-t-human:

hijabby:

babelady:

1) go outside
2) find pigeon
3) grab
4) congratulation

Okay now what

take good care of your son

Congratulation

sobersexting:

babyferaligator:

BLIND PEOPLE CANT SEE NUDES 

andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

If the frosting! Of your cupcake! Is equal to or greater in height than the cupcake itself! you made a bad fucking cupcake

We can’t as a society keep supporting pastries that are just edible plates for five inch piles of sugar glue